


Do Better

by iwasnthere622



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Constant Vigilance, Eating Disorders, Exhaustion, Fighting, Gen, Jason-Centric, Malnutrition, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Patrols, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Putties - Freeform, Self-Esteem Issues, Temporary Character Death, Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 17:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13575468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasnthere622/pseuds/iwasnthere622
Summary: He has to do better. Be better. For them.--Jason ducks, the putty's arm swinging in a wide arc over his head even as he takes the opening he's now presented with, slamming his fist into center mass once, twice, not stopping his momentum when the putty crumbles and whirling to the next one instead.There will always be a next one.





	Do Better

Jason ducks, the putty's arm swinging in a wide arc over his head even as he takes the opening he's now presented with, slamming his fist into center mass once, twice, not stopping his momentum when the putty crumbles and whirling to the next one instead.

There will always be a next one.

_I came for the crystal! Others will come!_

He takes a hit to his shoulder, stumbles a step to the right, instinct saving him from a second hit as muscle memory raises his arms into a neat block, armored heels digging gauges into the dirt floor as he absorbs the hit without losing his ground, and then he kicks out, knocking the putty's head clean off.

He doesn't watch it sail across the cavern and explode into dust against the wall, particles fading in a shimmer of light before they hit the ground, too focused on the putties eager to take its place.

Jason slams his left fist into the nearest putty, growling when the hit doesn't make as much an impact as his dominant hand, slamming it again and again and again until the putty finally drops.

_I told you that you were not ready._

He shifts his right arm behind his back, fighting only with his left, which forces him to be faster since he can't deal as much damage.

He loses himself to the mindless repetition and the burn in his left arm and shoulder, taking a hit to his leg that he's too slow to dodge that has his knee threatening to buckle and forcing him to jump back, careful to land on his good leg.

The putties don't pause, sensing his weakness and rushing forward.

His phone dings in his bag - instantly he knows it's Billy from the specific sound - and he glances in that direction.

In the split second his focus wavers, the putties pounce and Jason is buried alive beneath them, jagged rock crushing him. He lands hard on the ground on his back, growling and fighting to get his good knee under himself.

His phone beeps - Kim.

With a shout of frustration, he wills the power sword to form and slices through the pile of putties, destroying the lot of them in four quick swings.

"End sim," he says, armor dissolving as he demorphs and turns his back to the half-formed putties sinking back into the floor as he moves towards his bag.

"I thought the purpose of these exercises was to increase your hand-to-hand skills without relying on the power sword," Zordon muses from the ceiling.

Jason says nothing, knowing he's failed, instead reading the messages from his friends.

"Are the others all right?" Alpha-5 asks from the sidelines, where it's been watching.

"They're fine," Jason answers after a pause, rolling his neck, body aching. "Just wanted to invite me to Billy's for a movie night."

"Sounds like fun. Are you going?" Alpha-5 asks, tilting its head to the side.

Jason shakes out his left arm, muscles tight and stiff from the harsh practice, shifting his weight to his other leg and feeling his knee throb.

He types a quick message to Kim that he isn't her personal shopper and to get her own snacks, sending a slightly more polite message to Billy declining the offer and claiming Pearl as his excuse.

"No," Jason says, setting his phone back down and morphing again, armor encasing him. He walks to the center of the room once more, squaring his shoulders.

"Start it again."

 

\--

 

After school, Jason tells his parents he's working on homework at a friend's and tells his friends he's working on homework at home and does a patrol through town instead - through the residential section, from the trailer park and low-income apartments to his middle-class neighborhood to Angel Grove's high-end section, through the small industrial section of warehouses and the power plant, through the business district and past the schools and emergency services, up the coast and along the shipyards and finally up to the mine.

Nothing. No enemies, putty or otherwise.

He closes the loop and heads home, running at a pace just shy of suspicious and sticking to the shadows. It's not as easy for him to blend as it the rest of the team, but he manages, only getting two or three looks.

_How do you think I feel, walking around town now?_

The only good thing Rita did for him is take the spotlight away, with most folks more concerned with the recent attacks than the disgraced ex-quarterback.

He wonders if this is how Zack and Trini feel, invisible and uncomfortable with any attention they receive, it unwanted and scathing.

He wonders if the town will ever fully forget him and what he did.

He wonders why being forgotten feels worse than the hatred and disappointment.

He wonders how long the peace will last, before putties or something worse come for the crystal.

He wonders if being trapped in this town is his punishment for his recklessness, for his failures.

Jason slips to the side of his house, easily jumping up to the open window of his room. He sits on the window ledge and looks out at the town, at the water, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He's tired, body a dull ache, exhausted from his constant state of vigilance.

He wonders if he'll ever be able to really relax again and stop bracing for the next attack.

He wonders if he'll die here.

He wonders if he'll be able to protect them first.

 

He knows he won't.

 

\--

 

Instead of heating up the dinner leftovers his mother saved for him, Jason grabs another protein shake and heads back to his room.

He drinks the shake steadily, sipping it and ignoring the chalky flavor of fake-chocolate (he's finished all the strawberry ones and has to wait for his mom to get more). He finishes it and tosses the bottle onto the small mountain of empty protein shake bottles that is his trashcan.

He changes into sweats and a loose tshirt and lays on his bed. A swipe on his phone sets his nap alarm and he closes his eyes.

One hour later, the phone vibrates beneath his pillow until he wakes enough to turn it off with a groan, rubbing at his tired eyes and forcing himself up.

He makes a trip to the bathroom and waits for his mother and sister to come say their goodnights before sneaking out his window.

Jason jogs up to the mine in the dark, waiting until he's out of town and alone before slowly adding speed. He moves until he's running with ranger speed, settling into the circuit path he's made in the dirt and pushing himself to go faster.

He's the slowest ranger. He needs to do better.

He runs until his legs burn, until his knee throbs and his stomach rolls and his lungs wheeze, and then he keeps going for a while after that just to prove to himself that he can.

Once he finishes all 20 laps, he finally slows, walking slowly to the cliff entrance to the ship and trying to stretch the burn out of his muscles. He reaches the peak and pauses, rubbing his knee.

_Always hurts_.

He catches his breath and then jumps.

The water is freezing but it wakes him up, shakes the exhaustion from his run. He gets to the pit with his second wind and calls up the dummy program.

Alpha-5 watches as Jason warms up on the dummy, practicing punches and kicks and building up a steady rhythm, a steady sweat.

Jason hits the dummy until his knuckles split.

"You should morph if you plan to continue," Zordon says from the ceiling.

Jason grunts, throws another hit because he can, before straightening. The dummy dissolves as he morphs, drawing out the power sword.

"Start the sim," he orders, balancing his footing and striking before the putties have even fully formed, hacking and slicing at their continually reshaping masses.

He focuses on his swordsmanship tonight, spinning and incorporating the blade into his moves, relying on it completely.

It always feels easier, fighting with the power sword, and because the point of training is to push himself to become better, he skips back a few steps and allows more putties to form. He watches their numbers grow and multiply, 3 then 5, 6, 8...

He leaps into the group of a dozen putties and swings his sword in a wide arc. Rock limbs go flying into the walls, chunks dissolving and shimmering.

He stabs at a one-armed putty, the power sword sticking in its chest. He feels a moment of panic, backflipping out of the way of another's attack, before spinning and executing a neat high-kick stolen from Kim that sends the blade through and free of the putty.

He fights until his arms are lead, switching sword hands now and then and neatly cutting down the last putty in play, having ended over 50 in the course of the night's training.

"Well done. You were born for this," Zordon says proudly. "Go home and rest -- you've earned it."

Jason demorphs slowly, power sword fading away as well. He's panting and dead on his feet, but Zordon's words give him hope that he _is_ getting better at this.

His knuckles have stopped bleeding and the bruising covering them and the rest of his body will be faded by morning. He runs home and collapses into his bed, glancing at the clock. Three hours of training, not bad. He sets his alarm and allows himself to sleep.

 

\--

 

Jason slices through another putty, trying to block out the screams and chaos, taking a hit to his side and twirling, sword gleaming before neatly cutting the putty in half.

The ground shakes as another building crumbles. He tackles a putty heading for fleeing civilians, stabbing it in the head only to get kicked by another, rolling on the ground until he can get his feet under him and stand, charging in.

"Pink! Black!" he calls out into the comms. "Did you evacuate everyone yet? I don't know how much longer I can hold here!"

All he hears is static. And the screams.

"Hey! Answer me!" Jason yells, turning in the direction Kim and Zack had run, the heart of the town, trying to get everyone out before the putty army overtook them.

He stumbles with another hit, body one aching bruise, lashing out. "Pink! Black!" he tries again, with no response.

He curses, backing up a few steps, not sure what to do -- if he runs to find his friends, these putties will enter the town, kill more people.

"Yellow, how're you holding up at your section?"

"Yellow?"

"Blue! Are you there?"

No one answers. Too worried for him team, Jason turns and runs, heart racing. He tries to ignore the panicked screams and crashes of destruction as the putties move down the streets and into the heart of the town, running towards the section Billy was defending.

The area's been razed, nothing but rubble. "Blue! Billy!" he yells, with no answer.

He can't clear the rubble by himself, he needs help, he needs his team.

_You can't stop him._

He runs, but Trini is not at her section either and now the panic is threatening to overcome him, breaths short and choppy.

"Trini! Billy! Kim! Zack!" he yells, Zordon's rules be damned, desperately trying to find them.

He skids into town and sees a ring of putties, all standing around something. With a cry, he charges. Their huge fists smash at him, and one putty formed of something metal -- sign posts? -- hits his shoulder enough to dislocate it through the armor, causing him to drop his sword.

He yells out in pain and anger, dives for the sword and wields it in his weaker hand, somehow managing to cut a path to the center only to collapse to his knees.

No.

No!

Billy, Trini, Kim, and Zack lay on the ground, in an unmoving heap. They aren't morphed. Their coins are gone.

There is so much blood.

 

He wakes with a gasp, cry lodged in his throat, eyes blinking furiously in the darkness.

He's on the floor. He must have fallen off his bed.

It was just a dream.

He reaches for his phone with a shaking hand, the display light filling his room. Home. Safe.

He rubs his chest, where his heart is racing almost like it is trying to escape, and tries to breathe.

_They were dead because of me_.

He stumbles to his feet, dashing to the bathroom and just making it in time to dry-heave into the toilet. He sobs, body shaking and sick, for what feels like hours.

Eventually, he has nothing left. He cleans up and walks back to his room, grateful he didn't wake his family.

He stares at his bed for a long moment, glancing at the clock, before reaching for his sneakers instead.

 

\--

 

Trini's house is first. He scales it easily enough and peers into her room through the stained glass on her window. He can see the shape of her on her bed, breathing steadily. He tries not to glance at the destruction in the room from Rita and fails, guilt tightening in his gut.

Billy's is next. Jason creeps through the bushes and looks in the window. His heart picks up at seeing the bed empty, but it calms a bit when his scanning eyes find the boy hunched over at his desk, asleep. He's almost tempted to go in and wake him, get him into the bed, but he doesn't want to worry him or explain why he's awake and here in the first place, so he leaves.

Kim's house is the largest of the four he has to check, but that makes it the easiest to climb, with plenty of footholds. He gets up to her window and finds her in her bed. The blankets are twisted around her in a way that cannot be comfortable, but she's asleep.

Zack's is last, and it's a 50/50 chance the boy will even be home. But Jason must be lucky, because he can see Zack through the slit in his curtains, the boy sleeping with his mouth open and an arm dangling off his mattress.

They are all safe. Sleeping. Alive.

Jason knows he won't be able to sleep anymore tonight, is grateful for the few hours he even managed to get, so he does a full patrol of the town now that he knows his team is safe.

He's just entered the industrial section when he feels the ground tremble slightly, stomach dropping out at the crunching noises that follow.

Glancing around in the darkness, he sees no one. Still, he ducks into the shadow of one of the buildings to morph before resuming his patrol.

When he turns a corner and sees the putties, he's glad he took the time to morph.

He charges forward before most of them have pulled themselves free from the ground, his punches sounding like gunshots in the otherwise quiet night.

Part of him wonders if he's still sleeping. Is this all just in his head?

Even if it is, does he have any choice but to fight?

More putties come around the corner and Jason shifts to keep them all in his view. He should probably call his team to come help.

He summons his power sword instead and charges forward. He can take care of this on his own.

He stabs and slices and kicks, trying to work as quickly as possible, grateful this happened at night in the unpopulated section of town, just hoping the cops don't show up before he's finished.

He winces when a kick to a putty trying to sneak up on him sends it flying into a building and bricks collapse. Great, more property damage caused by the power rangers.

Despite their numbers, he's able to defeat them, panting when done and sweeping the area thoroughly to make sure he didn't miss any.

He puts away his sword and finishes his patrol, heading for the ship instead of his home.

"Putties were in the warehouse district," he says without preamble as he walks into the command center, the lights flickering on ahead of him and Zordon's face slowly appearing.

"Did you destroy them?" Zordon asks.

Jason nods.

"Hm, let me scan the area," Alpha-5 says, running scans for any pools of gold from which the putties could have formed.

"Where is the rest of the team?" Zordon asks.

"Home. I took care of this alone," Jason answers, giving a brief report of their number and the fight.

"You should have called your team," Zordon chides mildly. "You could have walked right into a trap and been swarmed."

_And as usual, I made the wrong decision_.

"I took care of it," Jason repeats, knowing as soon as he says it that it's the wrong thing to say, zoning out a bit as Zordon gives him a lecture on teamwork and responsibility and caution.

"Found it," Alpha-5 announces, pulling Jason from his spiraling thoughts of never being good enough. "There's a small pool beneath the street in that area. I'll collect it to stop more from forming."

"Thanks," Jason says, the robot nodding at him distractedly, tapping away at his console.

Zordon sighs. "Go home. Get some rest."

Jason nods once and turns away, walking slowly out of the ship. Once he's atop the cliff, he demorphs and heads home as the sun begins to rise, wondering if he'll have enough time this morning for a quick patrol check before school, just to be safe.

 

\--

 

"All right, guys, warm ups first," Jason says, leading the team into the pit for their Saturday team training following detention.

"Everything okay at home, Jason?" Billy asks.

Jason nods. "Yeah, it's fine. Sorry I had to miss lunch with you guys, mom wanted a 'family lunch' before dad heads out on his boat for the week."

"You've been missing a lot of stuff lately," Kim frowns.

Jason shrugs. "My parents want me home a lot, I think the attacks freaked them out."

Trini nods at that. "Mine are doing that, too."

"Don't let them lock you up, we gotta have fun once in a while, too!" Zack teases.

Jason grins and nods and hardly even feels bad for lying because he's doing this for them. "Warm ups," he reminds.

They all groan but pair off for warm up spars. Jason jumps between the two pairs, energized to get to train with them and exhaustion fading away for the moment.

When Trini pins Zack for the fourth time, Jason calls out for a five minute break. They all take sips of water, joking around, and Jason chugs half of another protein shake, absently shaking out his sore knuckles. He misses the glances directed at him as he wipes his mouth, shirt riding up at the motion and displaying bruised skin for a second until the material settles back down again.

"All right. It's morphin' time," he says with a grin.

They all morph with a laugh at the catchphrase.

"We should do a sim all together," Kim says.

"Yeah, fighting each other is okay but fighting together is better," Billy agrees.

"I'm in," Zack says, ducking Trini's fake punch with a laugh.

"Only cause you don't want me kicking your ass anymore," she teases him.

"All right, all right," Jason says, before Trini and Zack can go at each other again. "Team sim first."

He calls up the sim, the team fanning out into position and starting to fight.

Jason loses himself in the training, punching the putties and enjoying the background banter of the team, fighting hard.

He glances to his left to make a comment to Zack only to find more putties, spinning in a fast circle and seeing a flash of blue, pink, yellow but no black.

"Zack?" he calls out, worry tight in his voice, déjà vu making his gut hurt.

"Sup, bossman?" Zack says, landing on top of the putty in front of Jason and crushing it.

Jason huffs to cover up his relief. "Don't get cut off from the group."

_You are the leader. You are the Red Ranger._

"Sure thing, boss," Zack says, and Jason can hear his eyeroll but he ignores it, too glad that he's okay.

Jason rotates his position after that, making sure to fight alongside each of them in turn, reminding himself that his team is strong, they are fine, they are here.

He takes a few hits along the way, mostly because he's moving around so much without actually fighting, a knock to his head making his ears ring as he ends up by Kim.

"You okay?" Kim asks, worry in her tone.

"Fine," Jason answers shortly, shaking himself and jumping forward to fight.

"Maybe we should take a break?" Trini asks with a glance to the pair of them.

"Let's finish the sim, we're almost done," Jason says, punching another putty until it explodes.

Billy glances at Zack and the pair press forward together, moving quickly to end the remaining putties.

Kim shifts to cover Jason, which makes him frown and turn to her. "I'm fine," he repeats, except in taking the time to reassure her, he doesn't realize the putty he punched twice didn't dissolve (two hits is what it normally takes, were his hits losing power?) and he takes another hit.

"Jason!"

Someone yells as he stumbles, and suddenly everything _hurts_. His muscles are trembling, unable to keep up with his demands anymore, and the room tilts.

He falls to his knees, one arm catching himself from face planting. Vaguely he hears someone turn off the sim, more focused on not throwing up his protein shake than listening to them.

"When's the last time you took a break, J? A real break?" Kim asks, crouched next to him with everyone else, worried.

"M'fine," he says. "We just took a break."

"You're not eating," Billy says, voice quiet but it's loud to Jason, feeling like a stab, another thing he's messing up.

"I am, I--"

"Or sleeping," Trini adds.

"I _am_ , I--"

"Where do you go when you tell us you're home?" Zack asks.

"How often are you training?" Kim presses.

"Are you having nightmares?" Billy asks.

"Don't you trust us?" Trini adds, voice bitter and worried.

"I do," Jason whispers, trying to push himself up into a stand, wobbling. "I'll do better," he promises, the room tilting again, their colored armor spinning in blurs as everyone else stands, tries to steady him.

"Jason?"

He needs to straighten up, he's worrying them, he has to do better, be better, but his knee collapses inward under the strain of trying to keep himself upright and that hit to the head must've been harder than he thought because there's black spots in his vision and he's so tired and aching, all their voices blend together in a confusing cacophony until he blacks out.

 

\--

 

He's laid out demorphed on his back in the med bay when he wakes, sounds returning to him first in a confusing swirl that makes him groan. The voices stop and he blinks his eyes open, hand moving up to shield his eyes from the harsh lighting making them water.

He turns his head and his heart stops.

Billy is crying. There's tears rolling down his face and he's not even trying to stop them.

Trini has tears in her eyes, too, but they haven't fallen yet, just stare at him accusingly.

Zack's shaking, fists clenched and face set in a way that Jason knows means he's scared.

"You're done, Jase," Kim says when his eyes finally meet hers and all he sees is anger.

"Wh-what?" he asks.

"You're done," Kim repeats. "Zordon and Alpha-5 told us what you've been doing -- you can't push yourself like this! You're exhausted, your body is covered in bruises, you're not eating properly... it's a miracle you didn't collapse sooner! Training and patrolling for hours every day? Fighting putties alone? You can't do this anymore. We won't let you. You're done."

Jason's heart is racing, he's failed them, they hate him. "I just... want to protect you," he whispers, throat tight.

"We didn't ask for that!" Zack snaps and Jason flinches.

"That's not your job," Trini says, voice firm.

"We want to protect _you_ ," Billy adds sadly.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Jason says. He doesn't know what else to say, what else to do. He's trying so hard.

"I'm taking over as leader," Kim says, and Jason's heart actually stops and he forgets how to breathe and everything is spinning again, hands are suddenly on him, on his arms, his chest, dragging him up and someone shoves his head between his knees and yells at him to breathe and his lungs burn as they greedily suck in air.

"We're not kicking you off the team, you dumbass," Trini says, and her tears have spilled over now, he made her cry, he's a monster.

"You're one of us," Billy promises and Zack squeezes his hand so hard it hurts but it helps Jason focus, looking up at Kim.

"You're still a ranger," she says. "And our friend. But being leader is killing you, and we won't let that happen. You need a break. We can handle it for you for a while. Just... trust us."

"We'll split up the patrols," Zack adds, voice hard but full of hurt if you know how to listen.

"You shouldn't have been doing them alone," Billy nods. "We'll make shifts."

"And no, you can't take a shift," Trini adds when Jason opens his mouth, watching him close it again and just nod.

"I'm sorry," Jason repeats, feeling like a failure and closing his eyes, dark bruising beneath them more prominent in the harsh lighting here, head muzzy.

Someone sighs, and he lets them all guide him back down, laying again.

The last thing he feels before sleep takes him is hesitant fingers brushing through his hair and he's too tired to protest that he doesn't deserve them.


End file.
